I have done it before.
I can do it again.
Then why am I having such a hard time?
I feel like I can relate tothe passage in Romans 7. The Message version below.
15 What I don't understand about myself is that I decide one way, but then I act another, doing things I absolutely despise.
|16 So if I can't be trusted to figure out what is best for myself and then do it, it becomes obvious that God's command is necessary.|
|17 But I need something more! For if I know the law but still can't keep it, and if the power of sin within me keeps sabotaging my best intentions, I obviously need help!|
|18 I realize that I don't have what it takes. I can will it, but I can't do it.|
|.||19 I decide to do good, but I don't really do it; I decide not to do bad, but then I do it anyway.|
|20 My decisions, such as they are, don't result in actions. Something has gone wrong deep within me and gets the better of me every time.|
|21 It happens so regularly that it's predictable. The moment I decide to do good, sin is there to trip me up.|
|22 I truly delight in God's commands,|
|23 but it's pretty obvious that not all of me joins in that delight. Parts of me covertly rebel, and just when I least expect it, they take charge.|
|24 I've tried everything and nothing helps. I'm at the end of my rope. Is there no one who can do anything for me? Isn't that the real question?|
|25 The answer, thank God, is that Jesus Christ can and does. He acted to set things right in this life of contradictions where I want to serve God with all my heart and mind, but am pulled by the influence of sin to do something totally different. |
My husband and I were talking about this just this morning. As he posed the question, "What do you think you will say when you meet Jesus face to face for the first time?" I think I will be like Isaiah when God appeared in a vision. I will fall on my face and just want to ask for forgiveness for all the times I blew it trusting Him for deliverance from issues. He has shown up at other times and revealed something to me that allows me to get through it. Then in then life gets busy and I get distracted. Temptation comes and I forget to turn around to remember what I already know to be true.
I have a few issues righ now I would love to have breakthrough that just instantly changes the struggle to victory. I think that this time God wants me to fight for my freedom. What might that look like? I think this morning he gave me an action plan. This one is going to take some time, some mind power and maybe some elbow grease as well.
Proverbs 4:20-27 or Psalms 119:9-16 both talk about meditating on his Word...to us that is our Bible. Proverbs talks about His Word being in the middle of your life. Both passages talk about keeping the word before you and knowing it by memory. It comes with a few IF promises. The promise is IF we seek Him and lean in him and hide his word in our heart that health will come to our bodies, find purity for our souls, and direction for our path. Ultimately freedom will open before us.
My husband concluded our conversation by saying. You need to pray that God will change your heart and your desire for those things. Pray that he will step in and help. That he will give you His strength to make the changes neccesary. He is also going to have to help me with memorizing the verses he points out. Open up my mind and make my brain like a sponge that soaks in the information making the connections that will help me to recall his Words when I am in the moment of temptation.
It will be a process. It will require work and time. I hope I am up for the challenge...wait...yes I am because...
With God all things are possible.