Friday, February 18, 2011

Parting is such sweet sorrow

After Valentine's Day, I have decided to spend the next 14 days not eating sugar.  I do not know why this is such a hard thing for me but I know that giving it up in the form of a fast would help me to regain focus on God.  It has been an amazing week.  Tuesday I was a little grumpy, emotional, and tired.  Wednesday, I felt a little better but substituted other foods when I was craving sweet stuff.  Thursday, I did really well but the pang of sorrow and a wierd longing crept in.  I also had to question my motivations as Bill questioned me about wanting to go to Dairy Queen on our date night yesterday. 

My motive again is to take away something that I seemed to be indulging in to get more time with God.  GOD HAS SHOWN UP!  Charleigh started sleeping through the night on Tuesday and has done it all week. On top of that she has taken a nap after her first morning feeding for about an hour which has allowed me to have quality time to focus on the Word of God.  I have gotten such encouragement through the Bible Study that I have been doing with some of the women in the Mom's Club.  Topic this week praying for our kids.  The study goes over and beyond that.  Each day it has focused on one of the letters in the A.C.T. S. acronym.  The topic of Thankfulness today was powerful. 

The main focus was a great woman of the Old Testament, Hannah.  I had never seen her in the light that I saw her in today.  I don't know if  I could identify with her better because I am now a mom or if God was just showing me something new.  Maybe it was a combination of the two.

 I waited so long to get married (36) and then get pregnant (3 years later) and have a wee one in the house ( a dream I had since I was a very young).  Now experiencing the blessings that each new phase brings and then thinking about what it would be like to take him to the temple and leave him there to serve God at such a young age.  WOW!!  What a woman of her word.  But then to read her song of Thanksgiving to God for what he did and not be focused on thanking for the specific request of the gift of her child but every aspect of who God is and what he does for all of us.  DOUBLE WOW!

I haven't tried being thankful during this fast but I think it is about time to start.  Instead of focusing on the things I crave and can't have why not look at all the other things God has gifted me with  and who He is.  What a gift! When I look at it that way there is no way I am impoverished when I can't eat the chocolate I hid in the freezer. 

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Clinging by Faith

 I am sitting on my couch drinking hot tea on a foggy morning all alone because my daughter is still asleep.  (She slept through the night.  Yeah!!!)   I am taking this time to read my Bible and jot down some thoughts on how I am renewing my mind.
I love being a stay at home mom; it  has been a dream of mine since I was young.  Probably because my mom did it  and I just see so many benefits to being the one who raises my daughter.  There have been a couple potential obsticals lately.  I am trying to keep a good prespective but it seems as though waiting for things to happen is wearing me down. So this morning I am reading about being a praying Mom.  I notice there are verses that have been jumping out at me the last few days speaking to all the situations at hand.  It gives me hope that I will continue to be able to fulfill this desire of my heart.

Mark 9:23-24
A man with a demon possessed son has asked Jesus, "If you can do anything... help us?"
Jesus's answer to the man..."If  you can?"  said Jesus, "EVERYTHING IS POSSIBLE FOR HIM WHO BELIEVES."
The man  immediately exclaimed' "I do BELIEVE; help me with my unbelief."  The demon was driven out.

Mark 5
A woman touched Jesus and just from hearing what had been spoken about Him she reached out and touched his cloak with FAITH (BELIEF) that she would be healed because of WHO HE WAS.  Instantly, she was healed.  And there was a man whose daughter was very sick.  Before they got to his home someone came saying she has died. Jesus ignored them and said, " Do not be afraid, just BELIEVE!!!"  With a word  and a touch she was breathing, walking and eating.

This is how I feel right now.  Things are looming on the horizon and can go two ways God can step in and provide what we need or we will have to change our plans completely. My tendincy is to worry and complain but  I am trying to turn over a new leaf.
 I am stating in written words that  I am choosing to BELEIVE that God can do what he says he can do despite what by realism mentality tells me.

 I know you can do all things.  The Bible is full of examples of how Jesus just spoke and the miraculous happened. I have seen it in my personal past.  You are the same yesterday, today, and forever so YOU can do it again in this situation where there are huge needs in my physical and spirtual surroundings.  I know that I am not believing in the circumstance to change or in the actions I am taking it and  letting it rest on YOU, GOD  the AUTHOR AND CREATOR OF ALL THINGS and that YOU ARE ABLE TO ABOVE AND BEYOND WHAT I CAN ASK OR IMAGINE. 

This transformation or metamorphis that is happening to me has to happen from the inside out.  A change of how I think, how I see, how I respond, and a reaffirmation of where I put my hope and trust continually.  If you think of it you could say a little prayer that my journey will reap good fruit.

So all I can say now is:
I Cor 15:57- 58
Thanks be to God!  He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.  Therefore, my dear brothers, stand firm.  Let  nothing  move you .  Always give yourselves fully to the  work of the Lord because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain.