Friday, February 18, 2011

Parting is such sweet sorrow

After Valentine's Day, I have decided to spend the next 14 days not eating sugar.  I do not know why this is such a hard thing for me but I know that giving it up in the form of a fast would help me to regain focus on God.  It has been an amazing week.  Tuesday I was a little grumpy, emotional, and tired.  Wednesday, I felt a little better but substituted other foods when I was craving sweet stuff.  Thursday, I did really well but the pang of sorrow and a wierd longing crept in.  I also had to question my motivations as Bill questioned me about wanting to go to Dairy Queen on our date night yesterday. 

My motive again is to take away something that I seemed to be indulging in to get more time with God.  GOD HAS SHOWN UP!  Charleigh started sleeping through the night on Tuesday and has done it all week. On top of that she has taken a nap after her first morning feeding for about an hour which has allowed me to have quality time to focus on the Word of God.  I have gotten such encouragement through the Bible Study that I have been doing with some of the women in the Mom's Club.  Topic this week praying for our kids.  The study goes over and beyond that.  Each day it has focused on one of the letters in the A.C.T. S. acronym.  The topic of Thankfulness today was powerful. 

The main focus was a great woman of the Old Testament, Hannah.  I had never seen her in the light that I saw her in today.  I don't know if  I could identify with her better because I am now a mom or if God was just showing me something new.  Maybe it was a combination of the two.

 I waited so long to get married (36) and then get pregnant (3 years later) and have a wee one in the house ( a dream I had since I was a very young).  Now experiencing the blessings that each new phase brings and then thinking about what it would be like to take him to the temple and leave him there to serve God at such a young age.  WOW!!  What a woman of her word.  But then to read her song of Thanksgiving to God for what he did and not be focused on thanking for the specific request of the gift of her child but every aspect of who God is and what he does for all of us.  DOUBLE WOW!

I haven't tried being thankful during this fast but I think it is about time to start.  Instead of focusing on the things I crave and can't have why not look at all the other things God has gifted me with  and who He is.  What a gift! When I look at it that way there is no way I am impoverished when I can't eat the chocolate I hid in the freezer. 

No comments:

Post a Comment